He is his brother’s keeper.
My boys were brothers from the start, that’s indisputable. What could be up for debate is who the big brother really was.
Tanner was older and taller, that’s for sure. He also was very protective of his little brother. In Travis’ younger days if Travis got in trouble, spanked or scolded, it was Tanner who would cry first. His precious little heart could not handle an angry word toward the brother he loved. Tanner took his brother role very seriously: he was the *only* one allowed to punch his little brother — ain’t no one else gonna mess with Travis in front of him.
I can remember special moments when Tanner would try to help Travis do something, whether climbing up onto a chair or carrying something, Tanner would do his best to come to his little brother’s aid. Those moments were always some of the most precious to me.
Travis may not have been Tanner’s big brother, but he carried the role selflessly. He was his protector, his helper, his friend, his keeper.
While Tanner was more of a “leave it where you dumped it” kid, Travis is surprisingly an organized neat-freak. Daily, Travis would put away his brothers’ clothes and clean up his toys. No complaints, no accolades, just handling the job, picking up after his brother and helping his mom.
At any church event, camp or outside event, Travis would always take on the task of watching his brother. If Tanner decided to wander, Travis would stay a few feet behind him to make sure he was safe. I used to tell him not to worry about Tanner, to let the staff handle it and just go have fun, but Travis made Tanner his responsibility and he took it seriously. He knew he could take better care of his brother than anyone else could.
There’s so much talk about a mother’s grief, but my heart aches for Tanner’s little brother who also made a life of taking care of him.
Over the years Travis has heard me mention many times the negative effects on Down’s kids living their entire lives with their parents. Without even telling me he had been devising a plan… Travis had mapped out a future where he planned on being Tanner’s roommate and caretaker. He would do right by his brother and didn’t even need to be asked.
He loved his brother so selflessly.
True, brotherly love.
Today, as I sat in the living room watching a movie — the only way I can sometimes escape the thoughts in my mind — I heard the Frozen soundtrack playing from the room Travis shared with Tanner. I knew something was up, as that was Tanner’s favorite sing-along music, but decided to give Travis some space and time. Finally I went in to see what he was up to.
There, on Tanner’s bed (which Travis had made) he had pulled out every important thing to Tanner and set it out for display. Its everything that Tanner loved and every item holds so much meaning and memories. I can’t imagine the hurt in Travis as he went through his brother’s most treasured things…
In honor of Travis’ time and efforts, I would like to take you on a tour of Tanner’s treasures…
*His little guitar and favorite disco backpack
*The green frog: the very first thing I ever bought him.
*His cowboy boots. Man, he loved cowboy his boots.
*His green remote control car he assembled on his 16th birthday at RideMakerz (cuz 16-year-olds get cars).
*His beloved iPad
*Tons of Power Ranger toys
*Hot Wheels cars
*Workbook from Terry Brown’s house
*Cymbals he would sit and play
*Small teddy bear he got on his adoption day
*Capes in every color
*His Power Ranger costume and Dress Blues jacket.
*His “handsome” shoes and sunglasses.
*His Disney autograph book which he would have his “friends” sign.
There’s not an item on that bed that doesn’t pierce my heart with special memories and remind me so vividly of the child I love.
Child? Children. Children I love.
For on that bed I see the things Tanner loved, but I also see the deep love of one little boy for the brother he lost.
Travis, your heart is every bit as big as your brother’s. I love you.
