Thai Spice Noodos?!
Many moons ago, the kids and I had stopped by In-N-Out for a late post-Disneyland dinner. It was always one of Tanner’s favorite stops so you can imagine my surprise when we got out of the car and he requested a different eatery.
“Indian noodos.”
When you have a child with severe Apraxia of speech, any spoken language is more precious than gold. Us Apraxia moms have learned to encourage it in any way we can.
“You want Indian noodles?” I asked, surprised.
“Yes! Indian noodos!” Tanner happily exclaimed, thrilled that I had understood his speech.
While the burgers were being prepared for the other kids, I began a feverish search for Indian fast food open after 9 pm. My baby never gave me new phrases and I would have flown to the moon to find him his Indian noodles.
As luck would have it, a short hop and leap away was an Indian restaurant just waiting to serve my baby noodles. We loaded up, sped over and parked.
Tanner and I got out of the car, and he was beaming. He knew what he wanted, came up with the right words to convey his thoughts, was understood by his mom, and now walking with a purpose to order his Indian noodos. He was one proud little boy as he clasped my hand and walked through the parking lot.
Meanwhile, my head spun. Indian noodles. Indian noodles. We were big on Indian food but it was always accompanied by rice and he clearly wanted noodles. What was it he wanted?
Suddenly, we stopped right in the middle of the parking lot.
I looked at him and said: “Tanner, do you want Thai Spice noodles?” And his grin somehow got even bigger and his excitement ramped up a notch.
“Yep! Thai. Spice. Noodos!!!!”
I think there was an implied “Duh, mom, I was saying that from the beginning!”
With Tanner and his Apraxia, it was often hard to know what was on his mind. The fact that he was able to make an association between Thai and Indian floored me. We ran back to the car and quickly drove to Dinner Stop #3 halfway across town.
My baby got his Indian noodos.
Earlier this week, I made the mistake of suggesting to Travis that there was something Tanner “used to like.” It was a casual comment in passing, but I could feel the thud as my words hit the floor.
“Don’t say ‘did,’ mom, he’s still here,” Travis sharply corrected me.
I admit: it’s hard for me to speak of him in the present. I’m not there yet. You can’t tell me he’s here because I can’t see him, hug him and kiss him.
I’m caught up on April 10, 2017, and all the days before when “here” meant something totally different than it does today.
But my son was right. Tanner is still here with us. He will continue to live in our hearts as long as we choose to remember his life, his love. It’s up to us to carry on his legacy, to share his joy.
We concluded our talk with the only way we could find fitting: Thai Spice noodos.
And yes, the order was under Tanner’s name. After all, they really were for him.
