You guys… this is killing me!
Having this cool, amazing, funny, smart, talented kid come into my world but not being allowed to really share him with you… it’s torture!
I take pics.
I share awesome dancing videos.
It’s what I do.
But my hands are tied and it’s driving me insane.
Needless to say, our weekend went awesome. There wasn’t a moment that wasn’t packed with something to do or someone to see, but through it all we got to know one incredible kiddo.
Travis and I found a piece of ourselves that got lost when we lost our Tanner.
“T3”, as I’m calling him, is special. Yes, every kid is special blah blah blah. But this one? He was clearly handpicked specifically for our family and meant for now.
We are going to great lengths not to compare him to our angel. And in the midst of our greatest efforts it’s almost like he’s going to greater lengths to show us that our angel is still here. Probably no less than fifteen times this weekend did he do something that was so totally Tanner-esque that it left Trav and I staring at each other and shaking our heads. Gestures, facial expressions, pronunciations, silly steps to a walk, unique dance moves, brotherly torture techniques… it was like he studied the Art of Tanner before coming to meet us.
Tanner had this very silly thing he used to do when he was contemplating a tough decision: he would brace his thumb and first finger on his chin in a classic thinking pose and then in a grand gesture point his finger into the air and say “Ah ha!” Everytime it would crack me up; Tanner’s favorite thing was making me laugh. On Saturday, asking T3 what he’d like to do, he looked at me, put his fingers to his chin striking a pensive thinking pose and then, quickly pointed toward the sky in a strong declaration that he had made his decision. I just starred at him, my eyes welling up with tears. Who does that?
Tanner did that.
T3 does that.
Taking a page out of Tanner’s classic how-to-harrass-your-brother playbook, T3 got in the car after church, put on his seatbelt and slowly began to recline the passenger seat… all the way into Trav’s now-smooshed lap. That was a favorite move of Tanner’s and T3 found no shortage of joy in the act. Although Travis may have been on the receiving end of the pancaking, I think he loved every minute of it.
I will confess that I haven’t cleaned out Tanner’s closet yet. Being kind to myself, I just decided to leave it until we needed to make space for another. Much to my enjoyment, T3 helped himself to Tanner’s closet and then walked into my room to show off his look: Batman pajamas, a red Power Ranger-esque jacket and not one but two capes. Tanner would SO approve!
All these crazy little things that brought us so much joy with Tanner are finding their way right back to us with T3. Yes, it’s a little bittersweet… but we are choosing to focus on the sweet.
There are crazy similarities, but there are also some huge ways that T3 is very different and will blossom as his own person.
He’s an athlete!
They told us this at disclosure meeting, but I didn’t really take it to heart. Let’s just say that I wish I could show you the videos I took of him effortlessly throwing a football as far as the eye can see, the basket he made from just within the 3-point line, the way he glided across the monkey bars or the repetitive cartwheels he did in a circle around me.
I’m still watching the videos in awe!
The kid is strong, skilled, talented and energetic. Special Olympics, here we come!
He’s also a total joiner.
Yes, our Tan-Man loved people. He especially loved quiet one-on-one time and would easily overwhelm with too much noise or too many people. Not our T3… the louder, the rowdier, the better! And you can bet he’ll be in the middle of it! We’re already battling over the volume control in the car… if your ears aren’t bleeding it clearly isn’t loud enough! ?
What I’m most excited about is his heart… but thats a post for another day.
Thank you for all of your well-wishes and sweet notes of encouragement. I can’t believe how blessed we are.
#Adoption
#GodPickedHim
#LiveLikeTanner
